An Attitude of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is the ideal time to focus on all there is to be thankful for.  Naturally, at the top of the list are loved ones and a wonderful meal, but also appreciating the very joy of being alive, breathing, thinking, being able to make choices are just as important.

Noticing not just significant things in our lives, but appreciating all that we generally take for granted, is how we develop an attitude of gratitude. The benefits of gratitude are vast including, but not limited to, better health and a longer life, being able to handle challenges more easily, being happier and certainly an improved quality of life.                                       

It helps to make a long list of things to be thankful for and then add to it and reflect on it regularly.  It’s important to develop this attitude so that it stays with us in challenging times as well.  When we do this, we’re sure to live thankfully all year round.

Control

This month I would like to address the concept of control, which we all struggle with at some point in our lives.

We all have a tendency to try to control external events in our lives. We tend to think that in order to get what we want, we must ensure things go exactly as we have planned, but instead we end up forcing things, resulting in our strangling the universe and the joy right out of our lives.  This, in fact, hinders our goals and creates stress as we fight with the universe. 

The truth is, the only thing in our control is ourselves.  Initially, this may seem disheartening but is actually quite empowering. This means that we actually have complete control over how we feel, think and behave and considerable control over our own realities. 

In terms of getting what we want, we can choose our lives by setting the intention of our desires, live with confidence and faith, and then continue to move in that direction until those desires have manifested.  Of course, there will always be unexpected twists and turns but we must be persistent and optimistic and trust that it is on it’s way.

The key is to focus on the end result of our goals and to let go of the how and when.    Only then do we remain in the flow, allowing the universe freedom to utilize infinite ways to bring us what we want.

Hope for Habits

Why is it that one person can quit smoking cold turkey and another struggles endlessly?  Or why some people just can’t stop themselves from procrastinating no matter what they do?

Many who come to me, struggling to correct a habit, confess they feel “weak” or they have no will power….but they’re wrong.  The truth is that the only difference between these two people is whether or not there is a subconscious “blockage” to the change.  In many cases, it even takes far greater effort to continue the undesired habit than to stop, draining the person of vital energy as they experience an internal battle.

Will power is a conscious act, and is needed for change, but the subconscious mind is much stronger that the conscious mind and therefore always “wins”.

Blockages can be known or unknown but must be resolved.  Only then can the person feel empowered with the positive change they seek.

This applies to many aspects of our lives where we struggle (and prosper!) as our beliefs and thoughts reign supreme, creating our reality.  So, the next time you’re fighting yourself, bring some love, understanding and forgiveness to the situation.  Digging a little deeper into the subconscious mind can make things much easier.

Resilience

There comes a time in virtually every journey worth traveling in which one questions themselves, their path, their goals and even their belief system.  The reason for this is that every dream has challenges or it wouldn’t be worth dreaming about and worth pursuing.  This is where your personal resilience is paramount. Many people believe that this is something we are born with but it is actually a skill that can be learned.

Cultivating resilience is as simple as understanding that no path is completely smooth and predictable.  What we can do, however, is be confident that we are resourceful and capable of handling anything that comes our way, adjust as needed, and yet stay true to our goals and desires.  It’s OK to process the disappointment of a setback or obstacle, to recharge, and then get back up again ready to continue on.  Resilience is a choice to get back on the horse after being thrown off. 

It is also best to focus on the “end result” of any goal instead of the “how” and the “when.”  This is particularly difficult as we tend to be impatient creatures who frequently expect that someone else would have done it faster or easier.  (Realize this is not only common self-judgment, but a false statement, and let it go.) We also think we know the best way to achieve our goal but we rarely do as we can’t possibly know all the infinite possibilities available in every moment.  Have faith that the universe does.

If one focuses on the end result, continues to move in the direction of their goals and desires with positive expectancy and is resilient in the face of any perceived setbacks, achievement is a forgone conclusion.

Manifesting

In a previous post, I wrote of how working too hard or trying too hard makes it more difficult to manifest.  Now, I’d like to address the topic of manifesting.  When people think of manifesting, it is usually in the context of one’s desired goals, however, it is actually the materialization of one’s thoughts and emotions.

This is a very important distinction to make because it means that what we think and feel is what we are actually manifesting, not necessarily what we want. We have been or have known someone who has been in the position of wanting something and it not coming about no matter how hard they tried because they still held the same attitudes and beliefs. 

This is why it is best to “embody” what you want in order to manifest it.  Embodying is simple:  Close your eyes and think of your desires as if you already have them.  Feel those feelings within you and within your cells.  You are now embodying the energy of what you want.  Now simply try to hold that feeling in your body and the image in your mind and this is what it means to embody the energy of your desires.

The more we can embody our desires, the more we attract them to us.  Like attracts like!

Doing this regularly (daily or whenever you choose to think about the desired energy in your cells).  Please be aware of any resistance or disbelief that may need to be dealt with if you don’t feel completely positive, deserving and wonderful while imaging your desires.  This is subconscious resistance!

Resistance

Most of us have experienced resistance in one form or another, whether it be trying to change a habit, achieve a goal or simply moving in a new direction in our lives.

Resistance can be tricky, taking the form of external obstacles, internal struggles or just plain exhaustion.  Resistance tells us in many ways not to go there or do that.  If we believe resistance, we may be deterred feeling as if we cannot overcome. But we can.

What we resist, persists.  Even resistance!  Here are a few tips to overcoming this.

1. The only way to get past resistance is to accept it.  Negative energy + negative energy = more negative energy.
2. Do your best to take the emotion out of it and be as objective as possible.  The more attached you are to the outcome, the more difficult it will be.
3. Have a plan and set manageable goals.  For example, choose an exercise plan that can be long term rather that short term and impossible to maintain.
4. Be patient, troubleshooting along the way.  Don’t expect it to always be smooth.
5. Be kind to yourself.  Move in the direction of your goal calmly, consistently and persistently.
6. Take a break when you need to.  Sometimes we just need to wait until we are more ready, more relaxed or more in alignment.  When you have no control and nothing is working, do nothing for a time.
7. Be kind to others.  When those around you seem less than supportive, know that they may not be able to relate to your particular situation or may not know how to help or communicate support.

Calmly and steadily moving in the direction of your goals is the best way to achieve them: for your health, for your happiness and to maintain balance with the rest of your life.  And resistance will never see you coming.

Trying Too Hard

Trying too hard

I’d like to take a moment to address the common issue of working or trying “too hard” at something.  We are brought up to believe (and society reinforces) that the harder we work at a job, a relationship, or making money, the better things will be, but this is not true! 

Don’t get me wrong, we definitely need to take steps toward what we want and keep moving in that direction, but we want to do it with a relaxed attitude and a feeling of ease. Exerting too much effort can actually work against us and usually does.  We may still get what we want, but not as easily as when we are relaxed, or “in the flow.” 

Too much effort, or “pushing” for something implies (mentally and energetically) expected resistance, therefore creating or increasing resistance. This, in turn, causes diminished returns on your effort.  The harder you work, the harder it actually is.

Trying too hard may also cause burnout, mental, emotional and physical fatigue, relationship difficulties, illness, stress, and a whole host of various other issues, all the while clearly diminishing our enjoyment of the process and of life. 

The good news is, you can finally relax!  When you apply relaxed effort, not only do you remain happier, healthier and more able to handle life’s challenges, but your goals are also achieved faster and easier. It’s much more effective and enjoyable to just take steps with confidence and positive expectancy.  When you do, you’ll notice you move into that wonderful place of manifesting.